#8: Organized Dances

Black people are well aware of the stereotype that we are all good dancers. Of course, our savviness with movement has less to do with genetics, and more to do with the fact that dancing plays a huge part in black cultures all over the world. Black people spend time dancing like how white people spend time wearing Birkenstocks.

But not all black people can dance. Knowing this, the black community takes steps to keep up the illusion that we're all naturally good dancers by administering every few months or years a new organized dance for black people to learn. Organized dances are great for black people because:

1. They set up a foundation of steps that look complicated but are actually really easy. You learn the steps, you're good money.

2. The steps are easy to manipulate, so you can do you and not look like the next person while you're dancing. This also makes the steps look harder than they actually are.

3. Gives black people an opportunity to swag on other black people and boast about how much better they look doing any given dance.

Here are some organized dances that have taken black people by storm in the past 10 years:

Harlem Shake:

The Jerk:

The Infamous Dutty Wine:

RIP to all those dancehall enthusiasts who have died doing this dance (seriously, people have broken their necks).

Lean With it/Rock With it:

God Bless America.

The Heisman:

Let 'em know.

Nuh Linga/Sweep:

Chicken Noodle Soup:

and, because of my personal love for Harlem, The Aunt Jackie:

#7: Doin' Me/You

"They all look alike," is a mantra heard sometimes when members of one group (doesn't matter if it's a racial, social, cultural, etc. group) are described by members of an opposing group. Asians are the worst with this, as many of my non-Asian friends who have traveled in Asia have reported. One young man I know told me that in China, any white man with a white beard is called "The Colonel" as in the KFC Colonel. I'm calling an SMH on that one.

This sort of thing ain't gonna fly with black people, though. Especially in the United States where that phrase has been used to marginalize black people along with other people of colour. Black people combat the 'ol "they all look alike" mantra by adopting one of their own: "Doin' me". "Doin'" oneself allows a black person to assert his or her individuality without actually having to do anything but say the phrase. Try it!

"I'm doin' me." Don't you feel your individuality becoming more pronounced? Try walking outside! "I'm doin' me." Now everyone knows there is no one in the world like you, even if you sort of look like that other guy from work except with a slightly larger forehead.

But why do black people love to do them? Because it's a form of boasting, of course! The #1 favourite activity of all black people. Doin' me in itself, it implies a degree of flyness and realness, which is important to black people.

Black people love to spread this ideology to others. If a black person ever tells you to "do you," take it as a gesture of respect for your individuality.

#3: Haters

"Hate on me, hater, now or later"-- Jill Scott

In life, there will inevitably be those people who dislike you. It could be your fault—you could be a lame or just an asshole. But in certain situations, people hate you for reasons out of your control: talent, beauty, intelligence, flyness, success, impeccable swagger— any of these could serve as a cause for hateration. While some people are bothered by the fact they may be hated on for such petty reasons, black people do not share this concern. Ever resilient, black people are used to experiencing a degree of hostility for their existence, so haters ain’t nothin’. In fact, black people have come to grow fond of haters, I would go so far as to say after “real people,” haters are the group most beloved by black people.

Having haters has a myriad of implications/meanings:

1. Black people love to feel important. Having haters means that there are people out there who think you are important enough to be watched. Naturally, people pay no mind to those they deem unimportant—they don’t even think about them! A hater immediately alerts a black person that he or she is on someone’s radar without even trying.
2. You have an emotional affect on the hater, which means you have power.
3. Assurance that a black person is coming correct.
4. Probably the best implication: having haters means there is always going to be a present and attentive audience to witness a black person’s triumps, which are further sweetened by the fact that that black person now has an opportunity to do another favorite black people activity: boasting.
5. Haters add fuel to the fire. Once a black person knows he or she has haters, they also know they are probably going to just grow more fabulous, starting the cycle of hate over again.

Black people can barely contain their excitement when they find out they have haters. It’s like finally getting that reparations check in the mail—there are so many exciting things to do with the money! So it is with haters— there are so many reactions a black person can have, but the most popular ones are:

• Acknowledgement: To let the haters know we see them.

•Dismissal: Oftimes followed by acknowledgement.

•Encouragement: Let the hater know to continue hating

•Gratitude: Thanking haters for making their success possible

•Affection: Showing love to haters for abovementioned success.

No matter the nature of the hate or the subsequent reaction, one thing says the same: the black person continues in the action/s that caused the hate in the first place.

#1 Boasting

"I don't brag, I mostly boast" -- Missy Elliott

One thing that is befuddling to many people is the overwhelming amount of self-confidence black people have. You would think that after hundreds of years of oppression and being told that we're not good enough, we would be the racial group with the lowest self- esteem. But be it DNA or the fact that black people are just highly self-aware about how nice we are, turns out that black people probably are the most confident group of people in the world.

In the world? Not even an overstatement. Consider the musings of Muhammad Ali:

Note how all the white people think he's being hilarious, when in reality, Mr. Ali was probably just being real. Everyone's all "hahaha, Ali you so funny," and Ali is like, "wait, but dead ass though..." Dude even called himself the (with capitals) "World's Greatest." But he is not alone. Black people stay proclaiming themselves the best. Lil' Wayne calls himself "The Greatest Rapper Alive," and Jay-Z decided to name himself God because he is that nice at rapping. And hello? Why do you think white people call Barack Obama an elitist?

The thing that is so unique about black people's tendency to let everyone know how great we are, is that 100% of the time we believe it. Every nigga swear he/she is that nigga. No matter what. A black person can be publicly embarassed, shamed, tarred and feathered, and come back from it singing the same song.

Do not think that black people are limited in the avenues we use for boasting. We realize that not everyone is going to be able to physically hear us or understand what we are saying, so we exercize every aspect of human expression to get our boastful nature across. Why do you think black people gesture so much? The swag is so overwhelming, it takes over our whole bodies. Why just say you're good when you can also show it? This is why on many occasions, black people wind up looking like this in photos:

The boastful self-importance of these young men is easy to discern in this photo.

For black people, there is never an innapropriate time or place when it comes to boasting. Boasting is always acceptable, even if it means you have to interrupt your moment of glory. This nigga Usain Bolt is a prime example. Dude slowed down during an Olympic race to maximize his boasting time and future boasting potential. Now that's a champion boaster. Why wait 'til you've actually shattered the world record to let everyone know you did? Why break a world record performing at your full potential, when you can slow down, still break the record, and leave enough time for you to do it again, so you continue to boast about how nice you are in the future? There's a man who plans ahead.

So If you ever come upon a black person, especially in a setting that involves competition, dancing, or just general living, don't start feelin' some type of way when that black person starts talking about his/her virtuosity in whatever activity. Just smile and respect that whether or not this percieved niceness is an actual reality, it is very much a reality for that black person.

And hey, why wouldn't we boast? Especially when we're clearly significantly better at it than everyone else.